therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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