I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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