just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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