There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
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You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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