And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
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I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
True strength comes from lack of pants
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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