Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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