Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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