I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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