Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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