Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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