its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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