Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize