D3 body, D1 cock
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize