I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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