I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize