it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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