I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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