I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My friends, they love my intelligence
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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