I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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