omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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