There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize