Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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