Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize