I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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