Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize