Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize