my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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