You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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