I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
be right there i have to get my cape
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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