I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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