if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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