bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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