Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize