listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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