She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
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You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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