im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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