i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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