Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
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they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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