I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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