Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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