Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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