I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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