he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think im going to throw up on grandma
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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