I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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