is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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