ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i would punch a child for taco bell
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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