New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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