Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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