the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Randomize