The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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